Archive for September, 2009

Frankenberry / Boo Berry / Count Chocula Alert!

Posted in Uncategorized with tags on September 29, 2009 by Staff Writer

Just saw these three on Monday at a local Wal-Mart.

Domo-kun Alert!

Posted in Uncategorized with tags on September 27, 2009 by Staff Writer

7-11 has taken up the banner of Domo-kun that was cast down by Target this Halloween season.

I saw some Domo-kun cups at my local 7-11, along with the small costumed plushes from last year’s Halloween.

Further bulletins as events warrant.

Jeepers Creepers 3

Posted in Script Treatment with tags on September 14, 2009 by Staff Writer
Jeepers Creepers 3 – Spring Break Musical!
– – –
Story treatment by
M. Jenkins & J. Hurley
– – –
We pick up from the end of JC2:
The Sheriff is waiting for the thing to awaken.
He says to himself, “Wish I had some back-up.”
He thinks for a minute and decides to call the State Highway Patrol.
SHERIFF: “Hey Jimmy, it’s Travis. Listen, I got this demon thing nailed to a wall in my barn. It’s sleeping right now, but I think it’s gonna wake up tonight and cause a ruckus. I’d sure appreciate it if you and a few of your boys’d come up here and help me keep an eye on it. … No, I am _not_ drunk on corn-cob liquor. Just asking an old friend for a little help. … I got donuts & coffee. … Thank you kindly. I’ll put on the porch light for you.”
Captain Jimmy and two other State Highway Patrolmen arrive soon thereafter, tearing ass and peeling rubber to get to the coffee and donuts as quickly as possible.
A few minutes later, the gentlemen all settled down in rocking chairs in the barn, with coffee and donuts aplenty, Captain Jimmy begins to ask questions.
JIMMY: “Now, Travis, what’s all this bullshit about demons nailed to your wall? If I have to haul you into town and throw you in the drunk tank again, I am going to be … very disappointed.”
TRAVIS: “Oh, it’s right up there.”
He gestures with his shotgun to the far wall of the barn, where the creature is nailed to the wall.
All the Highway Patrolmen freak out. They simply hadn’t noticed it until now.
ALL: “JFC! WTF! OMG!”
TRAVIS: “He’s still sleeping.”
The creature twitches slightly.
All the Highway Patrolmen freak out.
ALL: “JFC! WTF! OMG!”
TRAVIS: “Looks like he’s waking up.”
The creature begins to strain and then thrash about.
TRAVIS: “Probably best to start shooting.”
Everyone furiously fires at the monster. It roars and screams. Soon the creature’s restraints, weakened by time, the monster’s actions and heavy gunfire, fail and it falls to the floor of the barn. The men have all run out of ammo, and the creature stops moving or howling. It is still alive, however, brething heavy, ragged breaths.
JIMMY: “What the ish?!”
TRAVIS: “Jimmy, can I ask you to … uh … cuff that thing and take it down to the jail? My barn wall ain’t in no condition to hold it no more, and that’s pretty much all I had set up.”
Jimmy takes a long, hard look at the monster, then the barn wall, and then at Travis.
JIMMY: “Aw, ish. I guess that’s the best way to contain it for now. The drunk tank’s the only thing we got empty down town. I’ll … look into getting … an empty cemetary vault. We could … wrap it chains, throw it in and pour cement on it.”
TRAVIS: “That actually sounds pretty good. Wish I’d thought of it.”
The gruesome and gore-covered creature is handcuffed and placed in the back of a patrol car.
Once the creature is imprisoned, it eats some people & breaks out.
Drawn by the smell of thousands of teenagers in heat, it heads south, across the United States, across the border, to Cancun!
Only one thing stands between this flesh-eating monstrosity and thousands of innocent spring breakers: Samuel L. Jackson as the ex-bandito Sheriff of Cancun, Guido Sanchez!
SLJ: “Ain’t _no_ monster gonna eat _no_ body in _my_ town!”
See him deputize the entire MTV Live crew!
See hotels explode!
See heart-stopping car chases though Mayan ruins!
See evil Mexican drug dealers meet their terrible demise!
See a cast of thousands in the largest musical number ever filmed!
See it all in 3-D!
See
J33P3RS CR33P3RS 3, D!: Spring Break Musical & Mayhem!

Jeepers Creepers 3 – Spring Break Musical!

– – –

Story treatment by

M. Jenkins & J. Hurley

– – –

We pick up directly from the end of JC2:

The SHERIFF (TRAVIS) is waiting for the CREATURE to awaken.

He says to himself, “Wish I had some back-up.”

He thinks for a minute and decides to call the State Highway Patrol.

SHERIFF: “Hey Jimmy, it’s Travis. Listen, I got this demon thing nailed to a wall in my barn. It’s sleeping right now, but I think it’s gonna wake up tonight and cause a ruckus. I’d sure appreciate it if you and a few of your boys’d come up here and help me keep an eye on it. … No, I am not drunk on corn-cob liquor. Just asking an old friend for a little help … I got donuts & coffee … Thank you kindly. I’ll put on the porch light for you.”

CAPTAIN JIMMY and two other State Highway Patrolmen arrive soon thereafter, tearing ass and peeling rubber to get to the coffee and donuts as quickly as possible.

A few minutes later, the gentlemen all settled down in rocking chairs in the BARN, with coffee and donuts aplenty, CAPTAIN JIMMY begins to ask questions.

JIMMY: “Now, Travis, what’s all this bullshit about demons nailed to your wall? If I have to haul you into town and throw you in the drunk tank again, I am going to be very disappointed.”

TRAVIS: “Oh, it’s right up there.”

He GESTURES with his SHOTGUN to the far wall of the BARN, where the CREATURE is nailed and chained to the wall.

All the Highway Patrolmen freak-the-fuck-out. Evidently, they simply hadn’t noticed it until now.

ALL: “Jesus fucking Christ! What the fuck? Oh my god!” etc.

They then look back at SHERIFF TRAVIS as if he was immediately about to unleash a second, equally horrific surprise.

TRAVIS: “He’s still sleeping.”

The CREATURE twitches slightly.

All the Highway Patrolmen freak-the-fuck-out.

ALL: “Jesus fucking Christ! What the fuck? Oh my god!” etc.

TRAVIS: “Looks like he’s a-waking up.”

The CREATURE begins to strain against it’s bonds and then thrash increasingly violently about.

TRAVIS: “Probably best to start shooting.”

Here begins a short but amusing musical montage. Everyone furiously FIRES at the CREATURE. It roars and screams. Soon the CREATURE’s restraints, weakened by time, the CREATURE’s own actions and the heavy, concentrated gunfire, fail and it FALLS to the dirt floor of the BARN. The men have all run out of ammo, and the CREATURE stops moving or howling. It is still alive, however, brething heavy, ragged breaths. Fade out music.

CAPTAIN JIMMY: “What the shit?!”

TRAVIS: “Jimmy, can I ask you to … uh … cuff that thing and take it down to the jail? My barn wall ain’t in no condition to hold it no more, and … uh … that’s pretty much all I had set up.”

JIMMY takes a long, hard look at the CREATURE, then the barn wall, and then at TRAVIS.

JIMMY: “Aw, shit. I guess that’s the best way to contain it for now. The drunk tank’s the only thing we got empty down town. I’ll … look into getting … an empty cemetary vault. We could … wrap it chains, throw it in and pour cement on it.”

TRAVIS: “That actually sounds pretty good. Wish I’d thought of it.”

The gruesome and gore-covered CREATURE is handcuffed and placed in the back of a patrol car.

– – –

Once the CREATURE is imprisoned at the JAIL, it eats some people & breaks out. That should be an amusing musical montage as well.

– – –

Drawn by the smell of thousands of TEENAGERS IN HEAT, it heads south, across the United States, across the Mexican border, to Cancun! This should also be an amusing musical montage, juxtaposing the SPRING BREAKERS cavorting while the CREATURE runs and flies southward, eating anyone who crosses it’s path.

– – –

Only one thing stands between this flesh-eating monstrosity and thousands of innocent spring breakers:

Samuel L. Jackson

as

the ex-bandito

Sheriff of Cancun, Guido Sanchez!

SLJ: “Ain’t no monster gonna eat no body in my town!”

– – –

See him deputize the entire MTV Live crew!

See whole hotel chains explode!

See heart-stopping car chases though Mayan ruins!

See evil Mexican drug dealers meet their gruesome demise!

See a cast of thousands in the largest musical number ever filmed!

And see it all in stunning 3-D!

See

J33P3RS CR33P3RS 3(D) – Spring Break Musical!

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